A FEW SLICES OF PLUM PIE

One of the rummy things about Jeeves is that, unless you watch like a hawk, you very seldom see him come into a room. He's like one of those weird birds in India who dissolve themselves into thin air and nip through space in a sort of disembodied way and assemble the parts again just where they want them. I've got a cousin who's what they call a Theosophist, and he says he's often nearly worked the thing himself, but couldn't quite bring it off, probably owing to having fed in his boyhood on the flesh of animals slain in anger and pie.

Carry On, Jeeves

I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.

Code of the Woosters

Into the face of the young man who sat on the terrace of the Hotel Magnifique at Cannes there had crept a look of furtive shame, the shifty, hangdog look which announces that an Englishman is about to talk French.

The Luck of the Bodkins

The Right Hon. was a tubby little chap who looked as if he had been poured into his clothes and had forgotten to say "when!"

Very Good Jeeves

"I don't know if you know it, J.B., but you're the sort of fellow who causes hundreds to fall under suspicion when he's found stabbed in his library with a paper-knife of Oriental design."

Quick Service

"Unlike the male codfish which, suddenly finding itself the parent of three million five hundred thousand little codfish, cheerfully resolves to love them all, the British aristocracy is apt to look with a somewhat jaundiced eye on its younger sons."

Blandlings Castle

"For, like so many substantial citizens of America, he had married young and kept on marrying, springing from blonde to blonde like the chamois of the Alps leaping from crag to crag”

Summer Moonshine

'As a sleuth you are poor. You couldn't detect a bass-drum in a telephone-booth.'

The Man with Two Left Feel

"I am Psmith," said the old Etonian reverently. "There is a preliminary P before the name. This, however, is silent. Like the tomb. Compare such words as ptarmigan, psalm, and phthisis. n

Psmith, Journalist

As a rule, you see, I'm not tugged into Family Rows. On the occasions when Aunt is calling Aunt like mastodons bellowing across primeval swamps and Uncle James's letter about Cousin Mabel's peculiar behaviour is being shot round the family circle ('Please read this carefully and send it on Jane') the clan has a tendency to ignore me. It's one of the advantages I get from being a bachelor – and, according to my nearest and dearest, practically a half-witted bachelor at that.

The Inimitable Jeeves

He groaned slightly and winced, like Prometheus watching his vulture dropping in for lunch.

Big Money

He expressed the opinion that the world was in a deplorable state. I said, 'Don't talk rot, old Tom Travers.' 'I am not accustomed to talk rot,' he said. 'Then, for a beginner I said, 'you do it dashed well.' And I think: you will admit, boys and ladies and gentlemen, that that was telling him."

Right Ho Jeeves

"Hark," said Evangeline, as a sonorous boom carne up followed by a flood of rich oaths in some foreign language, probably Hindustani, "I think: Father has tripped over the dinner gong".

Mulliner Nights

A sort of gulpy, gurgly, plobby, squishy, wofflesome sound, like a thousand eager men drinking soup in a foreign restaurant.

Blalldings Castle

'Do you know,' said a thoughtful Bean, 'I'll bet that if all the girls Freddie Widgeon has loved were placed end to end – not that I suppose one could do it – they would reach half­way down Piccadilly.'

'Further than that: said the Egg. 'Some of them were pretty tall'

Young Men in Spats

The Duke's moustache was rising and falling like seaweed on an ebb-tide.

Uncle Fred in the Springtime

The Rev. Rupert Bingham seemed subdued and gloomy, as if he had discovered schism among his flock.

Blandings Castle

He felt like a man who, chasing rainbows, has had one of them suddenly turn and bite him in the leg.

Eggs, Beans and Crumpets

He vanished abruptly, like an eel going into mud.

Joy in the Morning

It was the soft cough of Jeeves's which always reminds me of a very old sheep clearing its throat on a distant mountain top.

Stiff Upper Lip, Jeeves

It was a confusion of ideas between him and one of the lions he was hunting in Kenya that had caused A B. Spottsworth to make the obituary column. He thought the lion was dead, and the lion thought it wasn’t.

Ring for Jeeves

It has been well said that an author who expects results from a first novel is in a position similar to that of a man who drops a rose petal down the Grand Canyon of Arizona and listens for the echo.

Cocktail Time

Many a man may look respectable, and yet be able to hide at will behind a spiral staircase.

Nothing Serious

My Aunt Agatha, for instance, is tall and thin and looks rather like a vulture in the Gobi desert, while Aunt Dahlia is short and solid, like a scrum half in the game of Rugby football.

Much Obliged, Jeeves

Cats as a class have never completely got over the snootiness caused by the fact that in ancient Egypt they were worshipped as gods.

Mulliner Nights

The least thing upsets him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of the butterflies in the adjoining meadows.

The Clicking of Cuthbert

In a low pleasant voice, like clotted cream made audible, she said....

Full Moon

She uttered a sound rather like an elephant taking its foot out of a mud hole in a Burmese teak forest.

Aunts aren't Gentlemen

..... TOPPED OFF WITH JUST A TOUCH OF PLUM SAUCE

"I pronged a moody forkful of eggs and b".

He quivered like a mousse

I once got engaged to his daughter Honoria, a ghastly dynamic exhibit who read Nietzsche and "had a laugh like waves breaking on a stern and rockbound coast" or "like the Scotch Express going under a bridge".

As sober as a teetotal Girl Guide

A mouth that hung open like a letter-box

A face like a prune run over by a motor bus

(Moments before a dog-fight) – To the ears of those present there came, faintly at first, a low, throaty sound, like the far-off gargling of an octogenarian with bronchial trouble.

Her face was shining like the seat of a bus-driver's trousers

A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of someone who had searched for the leak in life's gas pipe with a lighted candle.

Why don't you get a haircut; you look like a chrysanthemum.

There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the "guillotine."

...his head emerged cautiously, like that of a snail taking a look around after a thunderstorm.